That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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