he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
