Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love makes seman taste better
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize