Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
