"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
