please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
