OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
