i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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