He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Drake has all the answers
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
