Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
