are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I understand Curling. That high.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
