I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
