He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
