Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
