I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
