So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
