I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
