I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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