I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
