If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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