oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
