I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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