I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
