break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
