the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
