Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
