There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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