I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
