so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
