Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
