with your own penis?
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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