and you said cock pushups were impossible
there was a trapeze. enough said
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
