IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
