Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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