doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
