he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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