If i come over, it means nothing
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize