Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
