I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
