What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize