I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
