Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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