This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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