let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
