"it" just moved
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
