my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
