Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
