I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
