Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i permit you to call me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
