Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
