i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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