So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
