he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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