just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
