i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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