Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
