Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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