there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it's great music for shaving your balls
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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