i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
