I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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